


Fairy Tail Important Announcements

by ChunkyCheese92



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Ask me about my headcanons for draconic languages, Back into the woods i go for another several months, Multi, Teen rating for swears, dont ask me about any other headcanons though, hope yall have fun, i chose what canon i like, i will never change, if everyone is horribly OOC then It Be Like That, this is light and silly because i needed it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-15 07:00:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18493780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChunkyCheese92/pseuds/ChunkyCheese92
Summary: AAAAAA: acceptable.[Cobra joined the channel][Cobra changed their name to My Snitties]AAAAAA: okay that's actually not acceptable get outMy Snitties: fair(I decided to become the change in the world i wanted to see so i wrote a chatfic)





	1. Days 1+2: Everything is Burning

**Author's Note:**

> Howdy!  
> This is something I've been writing very slowly for a few months to cheer myself up; I'm posting it in hopes that someone else will also enjoy it.

[Gray added Erza, Natsu, Lucy, Happy, and XX others]

Gray: Hello everyone. As you can see from the name of this group, this is for IMPORTANT announcements only. No small talk. Keep this room strictly professional.

[Natsu changed their name to Fire_Salamander]

Gray: ... Well there goes that idea.

Fire_Salamander: hajaskakasjsms sjsnsnsmsms djrudbsndjd 

Lucy: what?

Fire_ Salamander: FUWIWJJSJAJDK FKSNNSSN SJDN D WHA WJWKDNEKEK

Wendy: lahsjjashhsuduenakakan(´･ω･`)?

Fire_Salamander: Ywhajajjswndjkfkj

Gajeel: ahjajsbanjeknsnanja

[Gajeel added Laxus]

Laxus: jaknshsjekdnns?

Fire_Salamander: kaihshsh!

Lucy: so is no one gonna explain what's going on here or...?

Levy: I think its a written representaition of Draconic? It doesn't seem to have a basis in any modern language, at least.

Gray: Honestly im pretty sure they're just keysmashing.

Laxus: thwiajsbaikdns!

Gray: I have no fucking idea what you're saying.

Erza: EVERYONE STOP IT!

Laxus: ... khshab.

Erza: since I have no idea where you are I'll let that slide. 

Erza: anyways everyone stop using this to chat in! this is for important announcements only! not whatever weird thing the dragonslayers are up to this time.

Gajeel: hakjehehajajdndndnbdbsb (♥ω♥*)

Laxus: iakshsjjsjshsbsbsb!

Fire_Salamander: uejajshsh! ESYAH! 

Laxus: HSJAJBSNSJSN!

Gajeel: uaksbsbsjksjs.

Erza: what did i JUST SAY

Laxus: Wjah Dpjdnsn.

[Laxus removed Erza]

Gray: Oh fuck.

[Laxus changed their name to My City Now]

Fire_Salamander: hehwhab!

My City Now: hahshsbnsjsk!

Wendy: ajsnna? (๑ó⌓ò๑)

Gajeel: jajshnsn hagsghan ajsns (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Gajeel: uajhsnsnnnsnsm. Hwhsb! _(-ω-`_)

Fire_Salamander: WUSHSBSJJAKAJSBS HSHSJSJABSBSBJS SHSHA!

[Gajeel has renamed Fire_Salamander to (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)]

[Gajeel left the channel]

My City Now: Hhsjab ahsbb.

(╬ Ò ‸  Ó): AHSJJAJSBSBS UHDBD! SJSBBS!

My City Now: tahbab sthsosbs thhs.

(╬ Ò ‸ Ó): ABSBBA ANM SN H THHS!

My City Now: Thhs.

(╬ Ò ‸ Ó): AAAAAAAAAA

[My City Now has renamed (╬ Ò ‸ Ó) to Thhs]

My City Now: I have some... Things to take care of so I won't be around much. Good luck on your whatever.

Thhs: EXECUTED FOR HOWHHANANABAVAVANZNXXMXXNNXNZNZ

My City Now: Anyway.

Lucy: oh my god he killed him

Gray: press F to pay respects

My City Now: F

Wendy: F?

Lisanna: F

Lucy: F

Cana: I II lI L

Mirajane: F

Cobra: F

Gray: Wait how did you get in here?

[Cobra left the channel]

Gray: That's probably not good.

[Gray added Erza]

Erza: ... F

Gray: Not you too?

Erza: i wanted to pay respects.

Gray: yeah but you're supposed to be responsible!

Erza: didn't you start this.

Gray: ...

Erza: back on track, LAXUS

My City Now: What.

Erza: WHAT THE FUCK

My City Now: Erza there is a singular children in this very group chat. Think before you speak.

Wendy: I want no part in this :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

My City Now: Look what you have done.

Erza: It doesn't matter that Wendy is here, you can't KICK ME OUT AND KILL NATSU!

Thhs: im still alive

Erza: be quiet corpse

Wendy: (。_。)

My City Now: Do you actually want to fight?

Erza: I see no other way.

Thhs: ooooooooooooooOOOOOOOO

Lucy: there is no way this is gonna turn out okay at all.

Cana: Get 'em!

Lisanna: wait who are you cheering for?

Cana: why not both

Mirajane: hath you no loyalties

Cana: who needs loyalties when uou can have... Alchohol

Lisanna: fair

\------

[12:54 AM]

[Thhs changed their name to Fire_Salamander]

[Gajeel entered the channel]

Fire_Salamander: why are you up this late u raccoon everyone's asleep

Gajeel: [attached img.271]

Fire_Salamander: wh

Fire_Salamander: is that

Fire_Salamander: WHAT

[Gajeel deleted an image]

Gajeel: no one will ever believe you.

Gajeel: in other news

[Gajeel renamed My City Now to King Midas]

\----

[11:46 AM]

Cana: wait what did he post last night??? I'm curious

Fire_Salamander: I'm not even sure at this point

Cana: omfg

King Midas: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Cana: this is... So cursed

Lucy: im 100% certain this is not the intended purpose of this chat

Wendy: (ಥ_ಥ) 

Gajeel: y'all seen Erza yet today?

Lucy: oh yeah, wasn't she gonna fight Laxus today?

Erza: The risk I took was calculated but man am I bad at math.

Lucy: ??? Did you lose???

Erza: I hate it so much

Fire_Salamander: oh my god she lost!?!

Erza: if one more person mentions it i will kill them.

King Midas: Hey Erza.

Erza: GOD DAMNIT

Gajeel: high five me bro

King Midas: Bro...

Fire_Salamander: what the hell happened while I was gone

Lucy: i also have no idea what's happening if that helps

Fire_Salamander: honestly lucy? it doesn't but thank you

Levy: ... is that a metal bull in a dragon suit???

Gajeel: his name is christopher and you will respect him.

King Midas: check it

Levy: The bull moves?!

Gray: all hail christopher our lord and savior

Cana: all hail christopher

Lisanna: all hail christopher

Mirajane: all hail christopher

Happy: all hail christopher!

Erza: All hail christopher.

Gajeel: all hail christopher.

Levy: I would join in your worship of Christopher but im more amazed that Laxus has that much balance. He's been up there for like 2 minutes even while typing in the chat?

King Midas: I am a man of many talents

Gajeel: hjananajsjdjjrrr!

King Midas: haksksksjjdhdhd ahahnxnc...

Fire_Salamander: when will death free me from this constant torment

Levy: For the life of me I cannot figure out a single word you guys are saying and I'm so mad!

Gray: im tellin you they're just keysmashing

Levy: There's an obvious understanding of it though so it can't be random! I'm gonna yell! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Gajeel: have you considered- asking us about it???

Levy: ...

Levy: I had not...

Gajeel: wow

Levy: So...

Gajeel: oh no

Levy: Tell me e v e r y t h i n g

[Gajeel left the chanel]

Levy: FUCK

King Midas: Language!

Levy: Y O U

King Midas: Hell no its my third language ask Natsu or something

Fire_Salamander: okay first off- im barely literate you know this

King Midas: we both know literacy doesn't matter with this

Levy: Ohohoho tell me more

Fire_Salamander: why can't she go ask Wendy?

King Midas: have you not noticed Wendy speaks an entirely different language?

Fire_Salamander: i just thought her accent sucked

King Midas: Turn on your location i just wanna talk

Fire_Salamander: I GOTTA GO

Levy: Wait wait wait there are TWO LANGUAGES I DON'T KNOW YOU GUYS HAVE KEPT FROM ME

Wendy: ...some ...stuff came up i have to leave

Levy: COME BACK I JUST WANNA TALK

Lucy: that is the fastest ive seen them disperse ever good job

Levy: I just wanna learn more languages ;w;

Lily: A valiant effort! Study and win! You can do it! -WarriorCat

Levy: Thank you Lily but im afraid my soul has broken.

Lucy: does he talk like that all the time?

Levy: Actually yes.

\----

[12:38 PM]

Erza: Levy have you been scaring non-native Fioran speakers again

Levy: Only a little!

Erza: now i have to round them back up again and you know how long that takes

[Gajeel entered the channel]

Gajeel: you'll never take me alive copper!

Erza: you work for the police

Gajeel: the sentiment is still there

Erza: ugh fine. Anyways where did you go?

Gajeel: I ain't snitching

Erza: fine.

Erza: NATSU GET IN HERE AND TELL ME WHERE YOU ALL WENT

Fire_Salamander: uahahsnsndjdehshsnddnfnnfj!

Erza: hmm. Awful. Next.

King Midas: когда-нибудь мы все должны будем заплатить за последствия наших действий.

King Midas: стукачи получают по заслугам

Fire_Salamander: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO TRANSLATE THAT WHY

King Midas: you know what you did

King Midas: also im tired of seeing actual people names everyone needs to get a new, cool name

[Gajeel changed their name to One True Aluminum Love]

[Gray changed their name to Freezable Fruit Shapes]

[Erza changed their name to Sword Aunt]

[Juvia changed their name to Questionable Advice Aunt]

[Cana changed their name to Drunk Aunt]

[Mirajane changed their name to Qualified Aunt]

[Lucy changed their name to ???(Pronounced as screaming)]

[Levy changed their name to Languages are cool, mkay?]

[Wendy changed their name to Hewwo]

[Lily changed their name to WarriorCat]

[Lisanna changed their name to Government Assigned Furry]

[Happy changed their name to Blue's Clues 2]

[King Midas changed their name to AAAAAA]

AAAAAA: acceptable.

[Cobra joined the channel]

[Cobra changed their name to My Snitties]

AAAAAA: okay that's actually not acceptable get out

My Snitties: fair

[My Snitties left the channel]

One True Aluminum Love: hold up.

[One True Aluminum Love renamed WarriorCat to Tigerstar... 2!]

One True Aluminum Love: there we go.

Tigerstar... 2!: I'm not sure what this name means but thank you, friend! Train and fight!-WarriorCat

One True Aluminum Love: lily you're too trusting.

Government Assigned Furry: WHAT 

Government Assigned Furry: WHO LET TIGERSTAR IN

One True Aluminum Love: there can only be one warriors fan in this guild

Government Assigned Furry: >:3

[One True Aluminum Love left the channel]

Government Assigned Furry: D:

Freezable Fruit Shapes: Can we please go five minutes without this chat inspiring a murder plot.

Blue's Clues 2: I mean we're pretty good at that when we're all asleep

Freezable Fruit Shapes: Don't get smart with me, Happy.

??? (Pronounced as screaming): i don't think any of us are in danger of that happening


	2. Day 3: Chaos Reigns

[8:58 AM]

??? (Pronounced as screaming): good morning everyone, did anyone die last night?

Freezable Fruit Shapes: my dignity

Fire_Salamander: that's been dead for a long time

Freezable Fruit Shapes: didn't see you come to the funeral

Sword Aunt: I believe everyone is still alive, although we are missing some people. Natsu, where are the other Dragonslayers?

Fire_Salamander: i haven't checked on them yet, one sec

Fire_Salamander: ...

Freezable Fruit Shapes: what did you do

Fire_Salamander: did you know raccoons don't like being suddenly and enthusiastically woken up.

Freezable Fruit Shapes: oh

Fire_Salamander: neither do birds

Freezable Fruit Shapes: why are you rooming with woodland animals or maybe furries

One True Aluminum Love: why the fuck did someone wake me up before noon

Freezable Fruit Shapes: wait who's the bird

AAAAAA: Natsu the second i wake up fully you're dead

Freezable Fruit Shapes: homicide usually has a reason however petty around here natsu what have you done

Fire_Salamander: wildlife photography

Fire_Salamander: [attached Wake_Up_Sleepyhead.png]

Freezable Fruit Shapes: yeah that makes sense i'd kill you too

??? (Pronounced as screaming): the raw power this image holds... Gay Rights.

Sword Aunt: did you two know about this?

Freezable Fruit Shapes: how dead are we if i say yes

Sword Aunt: ¬`_´¬

??? (Pronounced as screaming): i thought it was kind of obvious???

Questionable Advice Aunt: they are both bad at keeping secrets.

One True Aluminum Love: why are you so mean to me

Questionable Advice Aunt: you know what you did you goblin.

One True Aluminum Love: ;n;

[My Snitties joined the channel]

My Snitties: why am I out of prison

AAAAAA: I knew we did something important last night

AAAAAA: More importantly change your name

My Snitties: you can pry my snitties from my cold dead hands

Fire_Salamander: what about your Snife (snake wife)?

My Snitties: her snitties are important too but this is about my snitties

Sword Aunt: as much fun as it is seeing you annoy my fellow guild members Cobra, you really do need to go back to jail

My Snitties: have you considered: No

Sword Aunt: in fact i never have. And i never will.

My Snitties: good luck finding me

\----  
[9:30 AM]

Blue's Clues 2: hey uhhh who built a giant pit outside the guild and why is there music coming from it

Qualified Aunt: There's only one way to tell.

??? (Pronounced as screaming): i guess I'm on weird pit duty today. If i die I'm haunting all of you.

Qualified Aunt: Good luck!

??? (Pronounced as screaming): ... Why are you the qualified one again?

Questionable Advice Aunt: (far away) DO A BACKFLIP

??? (Pronounced as screaming): right.

\----  
[10:07 AM]

Freezable Fruit Shapes: I leave for an hour and you get Lucy to go down a mystery pit??? I thought i could trust you all?

One True Aluminum Love: *y'all

Freezable Fruit Shapes: seriously?

??? (Pronounced as screaming): okay so nothing much is happening down here, but the music is getting a little louder, jesus how far do these tunnels go?

??? (Pronounced as screaming): ADVCDXCCFFDDFGHHHHHHHHHH

Freezable Fruit Shapes: you okay Lucy?

??? (Pronounced as screaming): okay so the music is much clearer down here now but there's something down there with glowing eyes??? Im HORRIFIED someone else come down here

Blue's Clues 2: what song is it?

??? (Pronounced as screaming): Sexy back, but its reverbing like crazy

Blue's Clues 2: yeah that would explain it

??? (Pronounced as screaming): what?

Blue's Clues 2: oh of course, y'all don't know.

One True Aluminum Love: this cat understands

Hewwo: oh! That's my favorite song! I wonder who else is playing it (´･ω･`)?

??? (Pronounced As Screaming): THAT'S your favorite song?

AAAAAA: don't say anything.

??? (Pronounced As Screaming): Then... Are you the one playing this Wendy?

Hewwo: I'm playing it, yeah, but I don't know where you are with things with glowing eyes.

My Snitties: Wendy that's us.

Hewwo: Oh yeah!

??? (Pronounced as screaming): so this was where you all went? A big hole? Also why did no one tell me your eyes glow?

One True Aluminum Love: *y'all

AAAAAA: we kind of already thought everyone knew. We've been outside at night before.

??? (Pronounced as screaming): look i never said i was smart

Blue's Clues 2: actually you have several times

??? (Pronounced as screaming): do i look like i can read?

Blue's Clues 2: ...YEAH YOU DO!

Fire_Salamander: look luce there's one illiterate person in this chat and its ME

??? (Pronounced as screaming): how are you reading and responding to this?

Fire_Salamander: text to speech

??? (Pronounced as screaming): yeah that makes sense.

Languages are cool, mkay?: How were you keysmashing earlier then?

Fire_Salamander: i wasn't

One True Aluminum Love: don't you dare h*cking explain or i swear

Fire_Salamander: why did you censor heck

One True Aluminum Love: because its a fucking BAD WORD DANIEL

Fire_Salamander: welp i guess im not saying anything

One True Aluminum Love: qusijdbeiwoeodkdkhsjd

Fire_Salamander: djsksksksksnsnmdjdjmjjk?

One True Aluminum Love: SUDHDJSKSKSKDKKDKD!

Fire_Salamander: ...hdhdnij

Hewwo: jssjkk? (´･ω･`)?

One True Aluminum Love: idklldkd!  
(´・`ω´・｀)

Hewwo: ososjsjd!（ゝω●）

Fire_Salamander: now i feel excluded what the heck does this gibberish mean

One True Aluminum Love: if you cannot understand you were meant to perish in the void eternal

Fire_Salamander: gd edgelord

My Snitties: hey i know the rest of us are together but how did you get separated

Fire_Salamander: oh im not allowed to go into enclosed spaces where i can burn things without adult supervision

My Snittes: ... Every one of us is an adult barring Wendy

Fire_Salamander: none of yall count

AAAAAA: :( sjsjndjdk d nrkrf

Fire_Salamander: this is so sad can we get an L in the chat

[AAAAAA added Furry Bait and 🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson]

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: Natsu stop being a loser and come party with us

Furry Bait: if u don't skedaddle on down here im gonna get fightin w/o yalls

One True Aluminum Love: what in tarnation

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: oh my god the things on Sparkie's phondbdbdbdnsmsrokrffjjg

Furry Bait: HEHSJSKDJDJFKFKCKVK

[🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson uploaded TASERTAGGONEWRONG.jpg]

Fire_Salamander: ohhhh not even im that stupid may god have mercy on yalls souls

[Furry Bait uploaded theriskstingtookwascalculatedbutmanishebadatmath.jpg]

[Furry Bait uploaded fuckitsthecops.jpg

[Furry Bait uploaded policebrutality.jpg]

Fire_Salamander: how are you uploading these pictures while you're getting decimated

[Furry Bait uploaded itsusefulcontrolling2ofyourselfalsoshadowselfie.jpg]

Fire_Salamander: wow

Fire_Salamander: im goin down there see yall

Freezable Fruit Shapes: Wait Lucy aren't you still down there? What's up?

??? (Pronounced as screaming): for once im not in the midst of a fight,,, the heavens have blessed me

Hewwo: we're sitting at the table with Cobra and watching them fight from a little ways away ^w^

[xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx was added]

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: hey why wasn't i invited

My Snitties: get the fuck out of here you know why

Sword Aunt: Excuse me is that Acnololgia?

My Snitties: yea why

Sword Aunt: Are you usually this much of a dumbass

My Snitties: not always

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: mom said its my turn to try to kill you all

One True Aluminum Love: oh yeah? How bout i call mom n ask? Huh?

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: fucking do it im not afraid

One True Aluminum Love: i just called her and she said she didn't say that and also you're a fool. A goddamned imbecile. A horrible jester of a man.

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: bro why :(

One True Aluminum Love: because you suck, bro.

Sword Aunt: I'm going to ignore the obvious objections and ask about how in the world you two share a mother?

One True Aluminum Love: long story

Sword Aunt: Also regardless wouldn't she be. You know. Dead?

One True Aluminum Love: Ouija board

Sword Aunt: ...

Drunk Aunt: i swear j had nothinhs to do widh this

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: im coming down anyways bc you made me sad

One True Aluminum Love: no bro fuck off

Fire_Salamander: get out of the club house bastard

My Snitties: go eat a bug smely

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: whhy sree you beingb so meannn.... All i wantted to do was killl you al,,,,,,

One True Aluminum Love: *y'all

xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx: ｡゜（ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)゜｡

AAAAAA: your privileges of hanging with the cool kids have been revoked, now begone.

[AAAAAA removed xXx_BlAcK_DrAgOn_oF_ThE_ApOcAlYpSe_xXx]

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: wrow

Furry Bait: Pour one out for the bois we lost along the way...

Sword Aunt: why are you two even here? This is a server for Fairy Tail members.

Furry Bait: We wanted to talk with our siblings.

Sword Aunt: Make your own server!

Fire_Salamander: we already did

Sword Aunt: Then use it!

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: we can't, Cobra keeps posting those "what if we kissed in in (location)" memes and Natsu is horny on main

Fire_Salamander: You're at fault too mister Minecraft Song Lyrics Spammer and so is Rogue, edgelord.

Qualified Aunt: Wait Natsu why are you the one horny on main?

Fire_Salamander: Because I'm a dumbass and someone had to be

My Snitties: callout post for all of us

My Snitties: Natsu you're illiterate and probably never got out of your scene phase.

My Snitties: Wendy I love you and will support everything you do but honey you have no idea what's happening At All Times. Why do you have to dissociate so much you're like 4.

My Snitties: Gajeel you still like FOB,   
P!ATD, and MCR and that's a sin that is admittedly understandable but unforgiveable you hot topic disaster. The texan accent meshes very weirdly with that and I've been confused around you since i met you

My Snitties: I do post those memes Sting but they are choice, the real crime here is that once i stepped on Cubellios's tail and i haven't been arrested for that

My Snitties: Sparky you are a twink trying to pass off as a top and you keep trying to get me to stop calling you Sparky which is Extremely Rude.

My Snitties: Sting you look like offbrand Sparky except if he went to catholic school and then abandoned all his morals in college. Stop making pew pew sounds in battles and focus on the enemy and maybe you would hit something.

My Snitties: Rogue you almost share a name with the horny bat from sonic which gives you a free pass bc no one should have to deal with that but still you are just. Inexcusably goth. Like seriously Are You Okay also your skirt looks like a teenage christian metal boy band designed it.

One True Aluminum Love: It's a fever i can't sweat out yeehaw

My Snitties: Sometimes y'all say stuff that makes me want to attack you like a feral wolf.

My Snitties: Bonus edition for Acno, once i called him grandpa piss and he cried for an hour then cursed me. I haven't been able to pop my back in weeks and im pissed.

Furry Bait: get rid of the whole spine

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: the whole spine? 

Furry Bait: One (1) Whole Spine.

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: wrow

Furry Bait: wrow

AAAAAA: wrow

Fire_Salamander: wrow

Hewwo: wrow

One True Aluminum Love: wrow

My Snitties: is this true nightmare

My Snitties: even Wendy turns on me

\-----  
[11:30 PM]

Fire_Salamander: hey what happens if i hypothetically heat up a can of beans with fire

??? (Pronounced as screaming): i don't trust you using the word hypothetically

Qualified Aunt: Probably the same thing that happens if you electrocute one.

Questionable Advice Aunt: only one way to find out

Fire_Salamander: OH GOD IT EXPLODES

Questionable Advice Aunt: hahaha

Fire_Salamander: i feel like i just got flashbanged but i kind of want to do this again

Fire_Salamander: what if i wrapped someone in like... Aluminum foil and set them on fire. That's kind of like a can right?

One True Aluminum Love: i was threatened

Questionable Advice Aunt: hey you should set magnesium and potassium nitrate on fire

Fire_Salamander: i need to start a list of things to burn now

Hewwo: taxes

Hewwo: criminal records

Hewwo: student loan papers

Hewwo: the library of alexandria

Fire_Salamander: sweet thanks for the ideas

??? (Pronounced as screaming): im not an expert on burning things but i don't think you should burn Any of that

Questionable Advice Aunt: wet blanket

Fire_Salamander: yeah what's the worst that could happen?

Fire_Salamander: IS THIS WHAT THEY PUT IN FLASHBANGS?

Questionable Advice Aunt: I'm surprised you listened to me

Questionable Advice Aunt: also yes

AAAAAA: oh my god did he just flashbang himself

Fire_Salamander: YES

One True Aluminum Love: he can't respond anymore he's laughing too hard

One True Aluminum Love: he fell off the couch look what you did

Fire_Salamander: FUCK YOU

Fire_Salamander: FIGHT ME COWARD

AAAAAA: sjsnndndkdkx what are you gonna do? Set a can of ravioli on fire?

Fire_Salamander: MAYBE

AAAAAA: i can't deal with this

Hewwo: Natsu you Dumb Bitch

Fire_Salamander: WHO TAUGHT HER THAT

\-------  
[3:46 AM]

Freezable Fruit Shapes: i think at this point we've all established that we have a Resident Idiot here

Sword Aunt: yes

Freezable Fruit Shapes: which means he won't be occupying his other title

Sword Aunt: ...

[Sword Aunt renamed Freezable Fruit Shapes to Icy Thot]

Icy Thot: thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, some of these convos are inspired by real life.


	3. Day 4+5: Pasta Crunches and Romance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much of this is based on actual interactions.

[7:45 AM]

Icy Thot: What I meant to talk about earlier: does anyone know if we can get Mystogan in here?

Blue's Clues 2: oh yeah! This would be an easy way to talk to him.

[Charla was added]

[Charla changed their name to Ceiling Cat]

Ceiling Cat: I do not believe Edolas has this technology, however getting it to him should not be a problem.

Blue's Clues 2: Oh hey! Also is Lolcats the theme for our names now because im down.

Ceiling Cat: I suppose we may have themed names.

Blue's Clues 2: Sweet!

[Blue's Clues 2 changed their name to Railcat]

[Railcat renamed Tigerstar... 2! to Keyboard Cat]

Icy Thot: How are you going to give him things??? Isn't Edolas like... Unreachable?

Ceiling Cat: Theoretically yes.

Ceiling Cat: In practice? No.

Icy Thot: How?

Ceiling Cat: Breaking things is surprisingly easy after you realize dragon slayer magic ruining everything isn't just an Edolas thing. In fact, conveniently enough it quite seems that these universes were not made to account for the strain Dragon Slayer magic makes, which helps a lot when things like getting phones to other dimensions is a task that needs to be accomplished.

Icy Thot: so these fuckers had game breaking mechanics and didn't TELL US?

Ceiling Cat: I'm pretty certain they didn't know they did until now.

AAAAAA: nah we did we just knew what would happen if yall found out

Fire_Salamander: wait wait wait we KNEW???

One True Aluminum Love: *most of us

AAAAAA: speaking of which has anyone seen the Snitch Gun ™?

One True Aluminum Love: I've got it, just a sec

AAAAAA: thanks babe

AAAAAA: Charla turn on your location

Ceiling Cat: I do believe I'm being threatened; I must take my leave.

[Fire_Salamander changed their name to Bethany Esda]

Bethany Esda: this is the happiest i've been in my wholemst life

One True Aluminum Love: and THAT is why no one told him

\-----  
[1:59 AM]

Icy Thot: People out here really be named "Laxus" like god damn please don't cast lightning bolt on my dick

Icy Thot: fuck wrong chat

AAAAAA: ...

Icy Thot: Please

\------  
[4:28 AM]

Bethany Esda: gray? please explain?

Icy Thot: no

\------  
[5:09 AM]

[Ceiling Cat added Mystogan]

[Mystogan changed their name to if u awake u a fake]

if u awake u a fake: what the h*ck gray

Icy Thot: i thought you were friends but all i see is enemies

if u awake u a fake: some sins are unforgiveable

\------  
[6:32 AM]

AAAAAA: its spaghetti time

One True Aluminum Love: put the spaghetti DOWN you MONSTER

AAAAAA: no

AAAAAA: i am free and you cannot make me give up my pasta

One True Aluminum Love: at least COOK it first you animal

One True Aluminum Love: heck even let me cook it just STOP CRUNCHING

AAAAAA: sorry cant hear you im too busy crunching spaghetti for the Nutrient

One True Aluminum Love: i know i technically signed up for this but there's bread RIGHT THERE

One True Aluminum Love: there are less feral ways to get carbs

AAAAAA: fucka you

Hewwo: can i have pasta too (´･ω･`)?

AAAAAA: yeah come here 

Hewwo: thank you (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

One True Aluminum Love: NO

One True Aluminum Love: i swear I'll come downstairs

One True Aluminum Love: don't make me

AAAAAA: oh yeah? What are you gonna do bro? Kiss me? 

One True Aluminum Love: what if i do bro? Huh? What would you do if i was with you? Haha?

AAAAAA: id kiss you so hard bro

One True Aluminum Love: FINE im coming downstairs but you better stop eating raw pasta

One True Aluminum Love: also wendy don't eat raw pasta

Hewwo: too late 

One True Aluminum Love: another casualty of warm bloods

if u awake u a fake: WARM BLOODS??? HELLO???

One True Aluminum Love: stop lurkin bitch

[One True Aluminum Love banned if u awake u a fake]

Railcat: wait when did you get mod privileges

One True Aluminum Love: i didn't

Railcat: how did you ban him then?

One True Aluminum Love: like this

[One True Aluminum Love banned Railcat]

One True Aluminum Love: @🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson @Bethany Esda hey since i guess im going to be making Extreme Amounts of carbs i should invite yall over so come on down if yall want non-raw pasta and breads or even just like handfuls of oats like horses we got that too

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: real shit?

Bethany Esda: I WOKE

One True Aluminum Love: jesus might as well invite the others

One True Aluminum Love: @My Snitties @Furry Bait yall can come over too i guess and like eat a candle or something i dunno im in a candle mood myself

My Snitties: ya got the meats

One True Aluminum Love: if the meat is a chunk of raw probably fish i found in the lake then Yes

My Snitties: heck yeah thats my favorite kind

Furry Bait: im a candle man mself

One True Aluminum Love: a man of taste

Bethany Esda: if we're having a party then who's gonna start the betting pool on fights?

Questionable Advice Aunt: sounds like something i should do

Bethany Esda: sweet thanks Juvia

Questionable Advice Aunt: thanks your pain is my gain

Bethany Esda: what does that mean

One True Aluminum Love: she's gonna steal the bets when we aren't looking god can you read?

Bethany Esda: No! :^)

My Snitties: hey why is the red haired woman outside the window

Sword Aunt: i strictly told you not to snitch

My Snitties: your words mean nothing to me Sword Aunt

Sword Aunt: well too bad i found you you're going back to prison

My Snitties: youll never take me alive

One True Aluminum Love: erza get inside and eat some pasta and maybe you'll calm down

Sword Aunt: hhhhhhhhh No

AAAAAA: are you backing down from a challenge

Sword Aunt: how dare you

AAAAAA: fight me

\--------  
[11:13 AM]

??? (Pronounced as screaming): hey what's the status of the carb fest over there

AAAAAA: mmmmmndjdjdndndnsujskss huuuuuuu Pasta Good

??? (Pronounced as screaming): i see

AAAAAA: sjsscjchccncncbxxbxbxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

??? (Pronounced as screaming): First Blood

One True Aluminum Love: actually erza passed out in like 30 min, then the Pile started on the couch with cobra and rogue about 15 minutes later, then sting stopped moving an hour after while standing upright in the corner blair witch style and i think hes asleep, and now laxus is out but natsu is staring at this bread with so much hatred its funny

One True Aluminum Love: [uploaded what_did_the_bread_do_to_you_flame-brain.png]

One True Aluminum Love: I'm kinda tired myself might hang like a bat in the tree outside and see how many kids walk by and notice

??? (Pronounced as screaming): is wendy okay?

Hewwo: i have no idea where i am ( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` )

One True Aluminum Love: oh god i abandoned my boy

One True Aluminum Love: nvm she got herself stuck in a closet while sleepwalking

Drunk Aunt: eyyy

Drunk Aunt: wuait whomst here is Lebianb?

Questionable Advice Aunt: Girls?

Sword Aunt: girls???

Qualified Aunt: Girls???

??? (Pronounced as screaming): not lesbian but GIRLS!!!

Languages are cool, mkay?: GIRLS!

Hewwo: Girls! (((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

Drunk Aunt: nahahha hel yeah leabinss

Bethany Esda: i support all of you so fucking much

Qualified Aunt: where would we be without our allies

Bethany Esda: brothers in arms,,, melm

AAAAAA: i lovemy boyfriend,,,,,,,,,

[AAAAAA changed their name to Big Gay]

One True Aluminum Love: go back to sleep

Big Gay: come baaaaaack

One True Aluminum Love: fine

One True Aluminum Love: see yall have fun wlw

Hewwo: goodnight!

Qualified Aunt: i own this place now

Sword Aunt: just want a girl with big teeth and horns and maybe claws that can fight me and then maybe afterwards she has me pinned and we kiss is that too much to ask?

Questionable Advice Aunt: i just want A Girl but Completely Understandable

??? (Pronounced as screaming): giant mood

Hewwo: gf...

[Qualified Aunt renamed the server The Great Lesbian Takeover of Fairy Tail]

Drunk Aunt: girls are so pretty

Sword Aunt: i look at girls and i am thankful for my life  
\-------  
[2:47 PM]

Questionable Advice Aunt: I HAVE A GF NOW!

Qualified Aunt: ??? Who!

??? (Pronounced as screaming): goth gf... <3

Qualified Aunt: !!!! I'm so happy for you two!

Sword Aunt: about that  
\-------  
[3:06 PM]

Qualified Aunt: I have a GF now too!!!

??? (Pronounced as screaming): girl time

Drunk Aunt: we have been blessed by the gods of Gay in this server

Questionable Advice Aunt: thank u for my life

Icy Thot: oh my god lesbians,,, here we go

[Icy Thot renamed the server Let's Go Lesbians]

Evergreen: Woah Hey we go away for a few days on a mission and lesbians take over without me???

[Evergreen changed their name to Dramatic Aunt]

Dramatic Aunt: also Hello Everyone

Drunk Aunt: heyyy

Sword Aunt: Greetings.

Qualified Aunt: Hi!

Languages are cool, mkay?: Hello! Did everything go well?

Dramatic Aunt: Everything went perfectly, thank you for asking

Languages are cool, mkay?: Good!

Freed: ...Who are you people?

Bixlow: read the chat logs its not that hard

Freed: :/

Bixlow: dont you :/ at me

Freed: :/

Bixlow: don't

Freed: :/

Bixlow: I'll get him involved i swear

Freed:

Freed: :/

Bixlow: @Big Gay stop your idiot

Big Gay: hhhh im sleebing 

Big Gay: hes not my idiot

Bixlow: just get him to stop being terrible

Big Gay: stop that then

Big Gay: i have more important things to do im going back to sleep

Bixlow: now will you stop

Freed :\

Bixlow: AAAAAAAAAAA

Dramatic Aunt: will you two be quiet its lesbian time

Freed: i still don't know who anyone is

Dramatic Aunt: does it look like my problem?

Freed: :/

Dramatic Aunt: I'll kill you myself if you keep that up

Freed: just try me

Hewwo: so is everyone out on jobs besides you guys and the people who partook in the pasta party?

Dramatic Aunt: I think so.

[if u awake u a fake added Guildarts]

Guildarts: what's the hip haps fellow teens?

Sword Aunt: oh no  
\-------  
[9:54 PM]

My Snitties: i am beautiful and very fast

🅱arry 🅱 🅱enson: if god isn't real then who's heavenly staircase am i marching up

Furry Bait: bro that's an IKEA

Furry Bait: BRO NO

Bethany Esda: wait there's an IKEA here?

Big Gay: if you die in the kitchenware section you die in real life

Sword Aunt: wouldn't that happen if you died anywhere in IKEA?

Big Gay: not always

Sword Aunt: ???

??? (Pronounced as screaming): this is some primal riddles we have to solve here but too bad we're the worlds greatest detective

Bethany Esda: if im the world's greatest detective we're all doomed

Languages are cool, mkay?: i think we already are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the fastest i will ever update probably.


End file.
